But first, an Empress of Dorsa Update:
Total words today: 0
Manuscript total: 138,852
Okay, look. I stalled on Empress of Dorsa. BUT! But I have a good reason. I’m accidentally writing a short zombie apocalypse novel/novella. Expect it out by the end of January, I would guess.
I think I’d watched about four episodes of Euphoria when I texted LT and asked her to call me. She was mildly alarmed, as I don’t usually text with such a clear demand at that time of night. I think, “Are you okay?” was probably the first thing she said after I picked up.
“I’ve been watching this show on HBO,” I explained. “It’s really, really dark. I don’t think I should watch it anymore. It’s messing me up.”
We talked a while longer; not about Euphoria but about our days, our plans for the weekend, the holidays, our friends. But still, LT circled back to the show by the end of the conversation: “Don’t watch any more of that show if it’s making you upset.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” I conceded.
I stayed away from it for about a week. But much like the show’s main character, I couldn’t stay away for good.
Euphoria is excellent. And horrifying.
The pilot episode of Euphoria begins with the 17 year-old protagonist, Rue, getting home from rehab. A scene or two later, she’s visiting her drug dealer, buying pills.
And that’s only the first ten minutes. Within the same episode, we meet a trans girl meeting a man more than twice her age in a cheap motel room for sex. The same trans girl later gets accosted by the school’s resident Asshole Teen Jock Stereotype and slices a gash on her own forearm just to get him to back off.
She explained to Rue that she did it because the situation was clearly going to get violent one way or another, so she figured she would be the one to control the tempo of that violence.
It makes sense, in a twisted kind of way. Which might be a good way to describe the entire show: It all makes sense. In a twisted way.
Trigger warnings should be sprinkled in every five minutes.
I have read some criticism online of the show that says Euphoria is too dark, too twisted. Kind of like it’s trying to shock you with just how horrific everything is. I agree but I disagree. If you have ever been close to someone who is a bonafide addict, you’ll know that the dark things Rue is going through are spot on, not exaggerated. What I do think might be worth criticizing, though, is the way every single character in the show is experiencing their own version of unthinkably awful trauma. That part feels piled on. Each individual story is realistic on its own, but it feels a bit… “much” to put all that trauma into a single season-long arc.
And no, I absolutely don’t think that the show accurately represents teenagers today. Yeah, they have smartphones and the Internet, but The Outsiders is just as dark in its own way; adolescence is always dark, in a sense. But besides that, I just don’t believe there’s as much sex happening in high school as movies and shows pretend that there is (or as much sex as we all thought everyone else was having when we were in high school! XD). I also think Gen Z has their act together in a way we old heads don’t give them enough credit for.
HOWEVER, despite some flaws, the acting and the writing are so good and layered and complex that Euphoria is hard to stop watching. There is even some dark humor here and there that softens the rest of the show’s less humorous darkness. And yet it’s the kind of show that leaves you feeling somewhat desolate and empty after each episode, both wanting more and wanting to stop watching at the same time. Like, you know, a drug addiction.
But I don’t even know, as I write this review, if I can legitimately recommend it to you in good conscience.
Well, I’ll tell you just a little bit more and you can decide for yourself.
Euphoria is about addiction and mental health and the dangers of self-medicating, whether that self-medication comes in the form of drugs, sex, or falling in love.
Euphoria is about growing up, about the lives children hide from their parents, and about what parents in turn hide from their children.
Euphoria is about gender identity and sexuality and the sexual awakening of adolescence.
Euphoria is about abusive relationships — how we find ourselves falling into them, why we stay, and why we eventually leave.
Euphoria is about all these things and a lot more besides. It’s good, but it’s really, really hard to watch. If you find yourself triggered by watching trauma unfold slowly and inevitably, you might not want to watch it at all. Or you might want to watch it, but only if you have someone nearby who will wrap you up into a nice cozy blanket and hug you afterwards.
10 Comments
»»—- Lillith C. -—«« · December 20, 2020 at 6:26 am
Hello from 1 am Lill, Euphoria is an *experience* to say the least, I myself am I think on episode 6 I’ve been watching it was a whole discord group of fell gen Z so that’s fun. I think even as a minor who isn’t the target audience (ok but I am on your blog so it’s not like I’m ever the target age group). I see Euphoria as definitely a dramatization in the least, but it’s fiction and I don’t think it’s pretending to be too “real” with the whole unrealistic artistic aesthetic thing. And also thx I do in fact have critical thinking skills.
Talking of which, one real criticism for Euphoria is if the age group is supposed to be young adults or adults such as yourself. Then why the are they showing nudity of ppls who are supposed to be perceived as minors. That’s concerning, but someone out here made the executive decision.
Yes we young ppls are wild, my friends do weed, that’s about it. Idk maybe it’s because we’re all so depressed our sex drives are gone???
I haven’t read many zombie/apocalypse stories, besides technically speaking SoD. Have fun, feel good.
The Real Person!
Ahh, see, I was hoping my favorite adolescent reader might chime in! OMG, you are totally right about the last point. The target audience is definitely adults, and yet the naked characters are portrayed as teens and… GROSS.
I don’t think your generation is any more wild or any less wild than any generation that came before. Somehow we all know that when we are sixteen and forget by the time we’re forty, then decry the loose morals and poor work ethic of whatever generation is in their teens and twenties at the moment. My own generation got labeled the “slacker generation,” but then the Millenials came along and were accused of all the same things and worse.
As a Gen Xer, I always feel a little left out. :-/
If anything, I think the generation that came of age in the late 60s / early 70s (hmm, realizing that’s my own parents, actually) probably have the rest of us all beat in terms of sheer risk-taking (and certainly drug-taking) behaviors. Ironic, isn’t it? The Baby Boomers, who these days have been disparaged enough that they’ve earned the #OkayBoomer hashtag, started out as a generation way crazier than the rest of us.
P.S., “fell gen Z” = ?
Lillith C. · December 21, 2020 at 3:16 am
I mean both my parents are 40-60 (wheeze age gap child) but the only time generational stuff really was shown was when I “came out” at like 12 as liking girls (I go zoom I guess) and they’re response was “you’re too young to know that” and it hit me in the following years that the generational gap lies in them not being able to know themselves until they where older.
But that’s really the only time I’ve ever noticed it. And it’s kinda hard to cry about young people’s work ethic when you have a kid actively proving your wrong right in front of you.
P.S. “Fell” you see whatever god (dam them to hell 😌) decided that I can do math. But I can’t spell or comprehend languages well. I meant “fellow”
The Real Person!
That’s an interesting observation, and I think it holds water. I didn’t really come out to myself until I was about eighteen, which is a little hilarious, in retrospect. I wonder if I would’ve grown up in a media environment as (relatively) rich as today’s is with positive queer imagery if it would have taken me so long. Maybe I still would’ve been a late bloomer, but my bet is that I would’ve been self-aware a lot sooner.
Regan · December 21, 2020 at 5:43 pm
We Boomers engaged in a lot of risky behaviors but there were a lot of changes that we were able to bring about in the world. I think they are related. You are welcome!🤣😜
The Real Person!
LOL, so true.
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